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"I love you"

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BrazillianJiuJitsu1992's picture
BrazillianJiuJi...
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Jan 3 2012 20:12
"I love you"

Has anyone noticed alot of people saying I love you to someone they have just started dating or have only been seeing a short while, who will be telling someone they love them, break up with that partner then a month or so later be with someone else and be saying it, it seems the whole I love you thing is not really a sincere statement anymore but just like something to hopefully get sex with.

How quickly have you told a partner you loved them into a relationship?

Surely you cannot love someone in a month or even a couple, you can just really like em and think they are beautiful, like their sense of humor etc. Love seems to be something that comnes with time and shared experiences and a real connection that is not made in such a short span of time, right?

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Jan 3 2012 21:00

BJJ, you might find better luck asking this question somewhere else that is not libcommunity.

anyways, love is a very abstract word that encompasses an entire complex of positive feeling. it always means different things between any two people. it means different things when you say that to your friend, your sibling, a parent, your child, to a lover you are just getting to know or to a partner you've spend most of your life with. you might want to break it down it's constituent parts and explore specific feelings that make it up and how they connect and reinforce each other. but i guess ultimately if you feel it strong enough it's love. regardless of what love is, people who love each other (in whatever way) still do break up for other reasons (sometimes for very good reasons, but not always) - love makes them try harder to stay together though. good luck and don't feel rushed to love anyone on a timeline - that's not a good way to relate.

p.s. there is no specific good time, shared experiences can shared while you were living separately and if you don't feel sure about someone probably should not date them if you want to treat them with respect they deserve - that's from my own young experience.

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Jan 3 2012 21:03
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
Has anyone noticed alot of people saying I love you to someone they have just started dating or have only been seeing a short while, who will be telling someone they love them, break up with that partner then a month or so later be with someone else and be saying it, it seems the whole I love you thing is not really a sincere statement anymore but just like something to hopefully get sex with.

Welcome to last century.

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Jan 3 2012 21:24

LOL I don't mean this in some conservative way I just mean I don't say it to a girl unless its really true and weve been together for ages and I really love her, one of my mates has been seeing a woman for two weeks and He has already said it, the men seem to do it far more than the women too btw I am not saying like this is a female phenomenon or marking it as a sign of the times and as some viewed moral degeneration on part of society, haha.

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Jan 3 2012 21:33
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
I am not saying like this is a female phenomenon or marking it as a sign of the times and as some viewed moral degeneration on part of society, haha.

Why not, it would seem perfectly plausible that a world of commodity production would have a commodifying effect on basically anything, even emotions.

I think your general point, the shallowness of romantic attraction, is actually pretty uncontroversial. Though it begs the question, what do we care if it doesn't happen to us?

vanilla.ice.baby
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Jan 4 2012 11:23
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
LOL I don't mean this in some conservative way I just mean I don't say it to a girl unless its really true and weve been together for ages and I really love her, one of my mates has been seeing a woman for two weeks and He has already said it, the men seem to do it far more than the women too btw I am not saying like this is a female phenomenon or marking it as a sign of the times and as some viewed moral degeneration on part of society, haha.

puff

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Jan 4 2012 12:36

Libcom: the new agony aunt

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Jan 4 2012 13:24
Chilli Sauce wrote:
Libcom: the new agony aunt

We can all snuggle and cuddle and share stories of love and freedom around the campfire while roasting some marshmallows and drinking root beer.

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Jan 4 2012 18:22

Yeah I dont really think libcom is the place. I'm surprised this has not got trolled the fuck out of.

P.S. root beer ? pshhhhh, not nearly strong enough to properly drown some sorrows

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Jan 4 2012 18:41

sorry...

petey
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Jan 4 2012 18:42
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
Has anyone noticed alot of people saying I love you to someone they have just started dating or have only been seeing a short while, who will be telling someone they love them, break up with that partner then a month or so later be with someone else and be saying it

no. no i haven't.

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Jan 4 2012 18:49
the croydonian anarchist wrote:
Yeah I dont really think libcom is the place. I'm surprised this has not got trolled the fuck out of.

We aren't THAT macho! Please!

the croydonian anarchist wrote:
P.S. root beer ? pshhhhh, not nearly strong enough to properly drown some sorrows

See above - alcohol is for wife beaters.

Also STRAIGHT EDGE

petey wrote:
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
Has anyone noticed alot of people saying I love you to someone they have just started dating or have only been seeing a short while, who will be telling someone they love them, break up with that partner then a month or so later be with someone else and be saying it

no. no i haven't.

You... *sniff

You must be vewwy vewwy roneri ;_;

Croy's picture
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Jan 4 2012 19:00
Quote:
the croydonian anarchist wrote:
Yeah I dont really think libcom is the place. I'm surprised this has not got trolled the fuck out of.

We aren't THAT macho! Please!

I dont really know how this is macho ?

Quote:
You... *sniff

You must be vewwy vewwy roneri ;_;

Ri rink ris is raticurary topical and rood to rerate to given recent revents
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W5w691w0jE

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Jan 4 2012 19:22
the croydonian anarchist wrote:
Quote:
the croydonian anarchist wrote:
Yeah I dont really think libcom is the place. I'm surprised this has not got trolled the fuck out of.

We aren't THAT macho! Please!

I dont really know how this is macho ?

Well, "trolling the fuck" out of him would count as bullying, which is macho... right?

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Jan 4 2012 20:00

Im not advocating it, I'm just saying surprised others have not done it. So really, its other people I will not name that you are accusing of me being macho, not me.

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Jan 4 2012 20:26

I never said you advocate it, nor am I accusing you of being macho... it was just some backhanded remark on libcom being supposedly macho as was discussed earlier last year.

action_now
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Jan 4 2012 20:31

croy be trollin you boi

Croy's picture
Croy
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Jan 4 2012 20:32

im not.

action_now
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Jan 4 2012 21:10

sub-concious trolling? you sir, are an inspiration.

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GBF23
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Jan 4 2012 21:38

Play nice or I'll complain about your avatar.

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Railyon
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Jan 4 2012 21:41

I feel bullied, you machos.

action_now
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Jan 4 2012 22:04
GBF23 wrote:
Play nice or I'll complain about your avatar.

dont make me call the cops!

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Jan 5 2012 13:04
vanilla.ice.baby wrote:
BrazillianJiuJitsu1992 wrote:
LOL I don't mean this in some conservative way I just mean I don't say it to a girl unless its really true and weve been together for ages and I really love her, one of my mates has been seeing a woman for two weeks and He has already said it, the men seem to do it far more than the women too btw I am not saying like this is a female phenomenon or marking it as a sign of the times and as some viewed moral degeneration on part of society, haha.

puff

ironic homophobia isn't allowed, even in libcommunity, so please don't do it again (it is not obvious to casual readers or people who do not know you that it is ironic)

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Jan 5 2012 15:56

yourmum
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Jan 9 2012 14:59

Mister, your complications with saying i love you come from seeing love as more then bodily affection, the word to you rings of obligation and that makes you uncomfortable saying i love you to someone you are drawn to. the problem here is you mixing up ideas about how a couple should behave towards each other with THE word of affection. That is not an objective matter that can be discussed, it is in exact terms a projection of your feelings and associations to how a couple should behave or subsequently what the word means to you into a moral rule of when to use the word love legitimatly. cant leave this thread without quoting marx of course:

Not only in their answers but in their very questions there was a mystification

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