Under the Dome

48 posts / 0 new
Last post
omen
Offline
Joined: 20-09-12
Sep 15 2013 16:06

Following on from part one on the previous page...

Dome Sketch – Part 2: The Republic of Steve

THE SCENE – Scientists busy at work gathering data outside of dome. Inside dome as in part 1, but Dave is now pointlessly unboxing and reboxing cans of beans, Steve is sat at desk, and Gary stood in front of desk, next to empty chair, holding a broom.

Cut to inside of dome.

STEVE [to Gary]: Bill. Can I call you Bill?

GARY: It’s Gary!

STEVE: Sorry, I’m bad with names.

GARY: You’re married to my sister!

STEVE: Oh, yeah. Patty, she’s a swell gal. I miss her.

GARY: Susan!

STEVE: You see what I mean? Now where was I? Gary. Ga-ry. Ga-ry. Ga-ry. The thing is Gary, I’ve been wanting to have a talk with you. Pun intended! [Nods at boxes of beans and laughs to self. Then stops when he sees GARY not laughing.]

GARY: Actually, I’d like to talk to you as well. You see, I’m struggling to get by on two tins of beans, especially with beans being so costly now, and all, and so I’d like to ask for a pay rise.

STEVE: The thing is Bill... errr... Gary! we’ve been having some problems as of late. You see, Bean profits have been falling, hour on hour, since we’ve been in here. [Gary fake laughs to try and curry favour.] That pun wasn’t intended, Gary. Honestly, Gary, try to take things seriously for once. As I was trying to say, bean profits have been falling, hour on hour, since we’ve been in here. I made this chart, see?

Gary pulls out from under the table a large piece of white card with a line chart drawn on it and holds it up upside down, then looking at it turns it the right way up.

DAVE: Actually, I made the chart.

STEVE: Yeah, he made it, I made it, whatever! Stop being picky, Dave! No on likes a show-off! The point is I can’t give you a raise. In fact I’m going to have to give you a pay cut.

GARY: What!? How much?

STEVE: Oh, lets say, one hundred percent.

GARY: You can’t do that!

STEVE: Two hundred percent!

GARY: That’s not even possible!

STEVE [Leaning across desk]: Three hundred percent!

GARY: OK, OK! Fine!

STEVE: Count yourself lucky. [Whispers to GARY.] If things take a nasty turn, I plan on harvesting Dave’s organs. I have a guy on the outside willing to pay good beans for them. The one in the lab-coat and glasses... [Points to group of scientists.]

GARY [Loudly]: That’s all of them!

STEVE: Shhh!

DAVE: What was that?

STEVE: Oh, nothing! Nothing! [To GARY] Now we’ve got that out of the way, Gary, could you leave my office for a moment, please, I’d like to have a word with Dave. [Taps side of nose with finger. Gary gets it, and nods, goes to leave then looks puzzled.]

GARY: Wait! What office!?

STEVE: Just go and stand over there in the corner!

GARY: What corner!? Where!? [Gestures to dome.]

STEVE: Look! Just go and stand over there near the edge of the dome will you. [GARY stands at edge of dome, facing STEVE who gestures for GARY to turn around.] Da-da-da-da-da! [GARY turns around, occasionally peeking over his shoulder.]

STEVE [Pressing non-existant button on desk.]: Betty, will you tell Dave I’d like to see him now?

DAVE looks about bemused, then walks over and stands in front of the desk.

STEVE: Ah, Dave! Would you like to take a seat please? [DAVE sits.] How are things for you Dave? You like working here?

DAVE: Oh, yes, very much, Sir.

STEVE: Please, call me Steve.

DAVE: Steve!

STEVE [Troubled]: No, on second thoughts, better stick with Sir.

DAVE: Oh, OK, Sir.

STEVE: How is Mrs Dave and the kids?

DAVE [Smiling, shrugging, looking about]: Oh, errr, they’re fine, I guess.

STEVE: Good! Good!

GARY peeks back over his shoulder.

STEVE: So, I was thinking, now that Gary’s taken one for the team. [To GARY, making thumbs-up] Go team! [To DAVE] How would you like a promotion and a pay rise?

GARY: Oh come on! [Storming angrily back over to desk.]

STEVE: Oh what!? What!? Can’t we get a moment’s privacy here?

GARY: How can you give him a pay rise and me a pay cut?

STEVE gets up, walks round to DAVE, and puts an arm on his shoulder.

STEVE: He’s management now, practically part of the family, he can’t be expected to work for two measly cans of beans an hour, when he’s got a wife and, errr, how many kids..?

DAVE: No children, Sir.

STEVE: He can’t be expected to take care of a wife and no kids on two measly cans of beans an hour.

DAVE: Actually, I’m divorced, Sir.

STEVE: He can’t be expected to keep up his alimony payments on two measly cans of beans an hour.

DAVE: Thank you, Sir!

STEVE: You’re on the up and up, now Dave! Maybe one day you’ll have my job.

DAVE: Really? I always dreamed that one day I’d have my own food hoard!

STEVE: Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dave! Now, Dave, your first job as vice, junior, errr, thingy manager is to fire Gary.

GARY: You can’t do that! I’ve got an ex-wife and no children to feed, too!

STEVE: Oh, I can, and I have, too. Dave, get him out of here!

DAVE: Yes, Sir!

STEVE: Oh, and Dave, when you’ve done that, clear out your desk. You’re fired!

DAVE: What!?

STEVE: Now that I’ve fired my only worker, there’s not really anything for you to manage any longer, now is there?

DAVE [Unenthusiastically]: Well, no, I suppose not.

STEVE: And we’ve got to think of the shareholders, by which I mean me, haven’t we?

DAVE [Unenthusiastically]: I guess that makes sense.

GARY: Don’t listen to him, Dave! We could unionize and then he wouldn’t be able to sack either of us!

DAVE [Unenthusiastically]: I guess we could.

STEVE [Worried.] Now, now! There’s no need for that! You’re not dirty communists [spits] are you? Here in the Republic of Steve we frown on communism. [Makes frowny face.]

GARY: The Republic of Steve!? I sure as hell didn’t vote for you!

STEVE: Oh yeah? You and whose army!

GARY: What!?

STEVE: Errr, I mean, lets all calm down for a moment! Guys! Guys! Lets not get worked up here, we don’t want to start a revolution, or anything? [Laughs nervously.]

GARY: Revolution!? Who said anything about revolution?

STEVE: Oh yeah? You and whose army!

GARY: Well, me and Dave, I guess!

DAVE [Unenthusiastically]: I guess.

GARY: Oh, yeah, and I’ve got this broom. [Holds it up threateningly, thrusting it at STEVE.]

STEVE: Yeah! Well, I’ve got these cans of beans!

STEVE rushes to boxes, and begins throwing cans of beans at GARY, who dodges them, and then begins gathering them up, looking pleased with himself. STEVE realizes what he is doing, and tosses the cans he is holding back in the box.

STEVE: Dave, you’re hired again. Just keep him away from me, will you!

GARY chases STEVE around edge of dome, beating him with the broom, while DAVE stands in the centre of the dome and begins picking up loose cans of beans and pelting both GARY and STEVE with them.

STEVE: Wait!? [They ignore him.] Are they placing bets!?

Cut to outside of dome. Scientists huddled excitedly in a group, passing money about, and pointing at each of the men inside the dome.

Fade to black.

Agent of the International's picture
Agent of the In...
Offline
Joined: 17-08-12
Sep 15 2013 16:40

Holy crap again, part 2 was better than the first!

Agent of the International's picture
Agent of the In...
Offline
Joined: 17-08-12
Sep 15 2013 19:55

When your finished with the whole series, make sure you put it together and publish it in the library.

omen
Offline
Joined: 20-09-12
Sep 16 2013 18:45

Last part, just to finish it off. (Remember I said tragic ending, so the emphasis here is on melancholy.)

Dome Sketch – Epilogue

THE SCENE – Close-up of Gary, Steve and Dave, sat (in that order), shoulder to shoulder, slumped up against the edge of the dome. Their hair is messy, faces smudged with dirt and streaked with blood in the form of war paint. They wear their ties around their heads, as bandannas, and each clutches a club made from a broken chair leg. Their clothes are torn rags. The mood is melancholy, and they look exhausted and out of breath.

STEVE: Well, it was tough, but we made it! That’s the first day over and done with – just another five weeks and six days to go.

Camera pulls out to reveal everything in the dome is destroyed. Cans and sheets of paper and fragments of desk, etc. litter the dome. Slumped up against the other side of GARY is a skeleton, its skull resting on GARY’s shoulder.

GARY: Where did he come from? [Pointing to skeleton.]

STEVE: I don’t know – I think he was here all along.

GARY: I don’t think so. We would have noticed him, wouldn’t we?

STEVE: He’s old. No one notices the old.

GARY: It looks like something’s been gnawing at him. See! There are teeth marks!

STEVE: It was probably a bear. Bears do that all the time.

GARY [Alarmed.]: No, it’s definitely not a bear, I think they’re human teeth marks!

STEVE [Laughing nervously]: Look, can we please change the subject, I’m tired of talking about Hank... errr... I mean the skeleton.

GARY: Well, what shall we talk about?

DAVE: We could talk about the weather.

STEVE & GARY: Shut up Dave!

STEVE [Sighing]: Was I not a good, fair and benevolent leader? I just don’t understand where it all went wrong.

DAVE: We’ll to start with, you took all food, then used that as leverage to try and control Gary and me. Then you tried to play us off against one another. Then you turned into some kind of power mad dictator...

STEVE: Shut up Dave! Here, file this for me! [Hands DAVE a sheet of torn, crumpled paper. DAVE casually tosses it away.] Thanks, Dave.

DAVE: You’re welcome.

GARY [Bitterly]: Don’t let him push you around, Dave! No, one made you King of the Dome, Steve. No one voted for you!

STEVE: Well, if it makes you feel any better, we could have a sham election, I suppose! Oh, who votes for me? [STEVE holds up hand excitedly looking around.] Come on Dave, hold up your hand, hold up your hand, Dave! Gary? Gary? No, no one? Well, I win anyway. [Losing interest.] Never mind. It’s hard work being leader anyway!

GARY: We did all the work!

DAVE: Well, mostly you, actually, Gary.

Awkward silence.

GARY: So, what do we do now?

STEVE: We could loot some beans!

GARY: We should just share them out equally, that way nothing like this will happen again.

STEVE: Gary, if history has taught us one thing, it’s that communism doesn’t work.

All three look at destruction in dome, blankly.

GARY: I guess you’re right.

DAVE: Maybe no one gave it a chance.

STEVE: What?

DAVE: Communism, I mean. Maybe it just got hijacked by charismatic people, former heroes of the revolution, seeking power for themselves at the expense of the workers, and the workers, caught up in the revolutionary turmoil didn’t notice until it was too late, and by that time a brutally repressive state apparatus was in place that could crush any rebellion before it even really got started. I’m just saying maybe we could learn from history and this time it would all work out OK.

STEVE [Laughing nervously]: Shut up, Dave! [Elbows DAVE in ribs.]

DAVE: Actually, now I come to think of it, no that’s not it at all.

STEVE: Damn right! Come on, guys. Lets make a fresh start of it. What do you say? We could get up off our backsides, clear up this dome, and rebuild it all over again, and start over as equals. Let bygones be bygones. [Pauses to judge mood.] Oh, and, errr... I call dibs on beans!

GARY & DAVE: I call dibs! No, I call dibs!

All three begin beating each other half-heartedly with their clubs. Then lose interest.

Cut to outside of dome. Last scientist leaves the lab, and switches off the lights on the way out, plunging lab into total darkness.

THE END

Agent of the International's picture
Agent of the In...
Offline
Joined: 17-08-12
Sep 16 2013 21:26

Omen

I put it up in the library http://libcom.org/library/capitalism-under-dome-omen, but it needs a brief intro.

And a picture to accompany it.

So, yeah, you have two more things to do. Then your done with that piece and now you have time to prepare an epic sequel that broadens the environment to a city, has real capitalists, workers, and state. And action. smile

Also, I put in all of the italics, it has to be approved by an admin.

omen
Offline
Joined: 20-09-12
Sep 16 2013 21:48

It was you who was editing it while I was editing it, then. roll eyes (I fixed the italics as well.) I added an intro explaining the context and changed the title. I've not added an image, and probably won't have time. (Probably won't be round much for a week or so.)

I hadn't really expected it to end up where someone might read it out of context, so I've sort of apologized for the sloppiness of it in my intro.

(I wasn't able to preview my changes, as I don't seem to be able to do that for some reason, and I won't be able to see them until an admin has approved my changes, after approving your changes.)

Glad you liked it, btw.

omen
Offline
Joined: 20-09-12
Sep 16 2013 22:22

1) I think the point of the experiment was that it was pointless. (It was just a plot device, a bit like a Mcguffin, intended to hang a story on.)

2) They were all let out eventually and there was a happy ending, and they all had a big party with iced cream and jelly. However, in the alternate ending on the DVD release they all died horrible, painful deaths. And then all the scientists died, too.

vicent
Offline
Joined: 21-03-13
Sep 20 2013 05:51

just read a day in the life of Ivan Desonovich (great book!), set in one day in a gulag , seems very much like a Marxism Under The Dome situation, you have the a perfect replication of the class divisions, repression, clinical exploitation etc etc

vicent
Offline
Joined: 21-03-13
Sep 20 2013 05:52

laugh out loud
that was an amazing story omen btw

Agent of the International's picture
Agent of the In...
Offline
Joined: 17-08-12
Oct 19 2013 15:50

I have a title for a story: A Journey Out of the Dustbin of History

Does it sound provocative? Any thoughts of what you might think its about? Should it be renamed?