Having been involved with anarchism for some years now, it has come to my attention that we are getting nowhere. We have failed to install class-consciousness in the working class. Our ideas remain alien to proletarian workplaces, housing schemes and football stadiums (except Celtic Park where there are some fine revolutionaries). I think one of the main reasons for our marginalisation is that too many anarchists are middle class wankers, little rich kids or underclass wasters. Too many anarchists do not know how to relate to the working class because they do not understand their culture. It’s time that we sort out the real proletarian comrades from all the parasites that fuck up our movement. So I’ve devised this test to establish who is actually any use as a revolutionary. This is very serious and I hope that those who fail will put the movement first and have the decency to resign from anarchist politics. Good luck!
Part 1 – Personal information...
Q- When you were a kid, where did you go on holiday?
A- Butlins Wonderwest World
B- Blackpool
C- Camping in the Lake District
D- Tuscany
Q- Who did you support in Big Brother?
A- Bailiffs chored your telly back in March.
B- Definitely that Michelle, she was always getting her paps out.
C- You don’t have a television but you think it was great that Nadia won. It was a real blow for popular acceptance of marginalised minorities.
D- You were watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel because Anthony had a geography assignment on volcanoes.
Q- Your dream date would involve...
A- Shagging Cat from Eastenders in the home dug out at Ibrox.
B- A few pints down the local with Gail Porter.
C- Drinking herbal tea with Tracy Emin and two lesbian friends.
D- Overthrowing the government in Equatorial Guinea.
Q- What do you do when you’re feeling unwell?
A- Scram tae big Malky’s fae a ten score tae jag, then straight doon the clap tae check oot if ye’ve goat the AIDS ken?
B- Alka-seltzers and a big fry normally put you right but failing that it’s hair of the dog with the lads from work.
C- You’re interested in alternative therapies, especially herbal remedies and crystal healing. If that doesn’t work you would contact a Reiki practitioner through LETS.
D- Make use of that bloody BUPA thing you forked out for.
Q- What car do you drive?
A- One without an alarm.
B- Your brother in law does the deliveries so you borrow his white van now and again.
C- You’re too environmentally conscious to drive. It’s time to Reclaim The Streets from car culture. You haven’t driven since before Twyford Down.
D- You don’t drive! You have a little Asian man to do that for you.
Part 2 – Word association...
Q- ‘Respect’ is...
A- Something you say to yo homeys when they’ve popped a cap in some punk’s ass.
B- The chorus to a song your missus dances to after she’s had too many Bacardi Breezers in Yate’s Wine Lodge.
C- A fundamental for meaningful and non-exploitative relationships with humans, non-human animals and mother earth.
D- A Trotskyist front group you secretly bankroll as a tax scam.
Q- ‘Semi’ refers to...
A- The legitimacy of your ‘business’.
B- Something blokes get when they read ‘Nuts’ magazine.
C- A phase of the moon.
D- Poor people’s houses.
Q- The silver spoon is...
A- That pub in Harlseden where T-Lay sold you the sawn off shotgun that never worked right.
B- The type of sugar you put in your cha when yous knock off for a tea break at the factory.
C- An essential piece of equipment for an ancient herbal remedy to syphilis.
D- Still stuck in your mouth.
Q- ‘Peace’ is...
A- Something you is carrying dat you bought off T-Lay.
B- Something the wife packs for you to have with your cha at the factory.
C- Something that needs to be given a chance.
D- Sometimes beneficial to investment.
Q- Bakunin is...
A- That cheap vodka they sell at the Hamilton.
B- Er... The tall lass from the Russian volleyball team?
C- An aristocratic nineteenth century theorist and revolutionary whose politics were needlessly violent, anti-Semitic and misogynist.
D- Your great, great grandfather.
How did you score?
Mostly A’s? You sub-proletarian lumpen pauper. How the fuck are you going to help us seize control of the means of production? Anti-social bastard, the IWCA will be calling soon...
Mostly B’s? Congratulations! You are a true proletarian! You understand working class culture, you are the most revolutionary section of the working class! Your prize? Discount membership to the Class War Federation and free subscription to their paper as well as a years supply of Tetley, a Ken Loach box set and a cloth cap in your football team’s colours. Well done comrade!
Mostly C’s? You middle class life-stylist piece of shit! When the revolution comes we’ll hang you from a lamppost by your dreadlocks. You’re an affront to proletarian decency you decadent sandal wearing, pot smoking hippy fucking liberal fuck!
Mostly D’s? Ah Revol, Revol. It’s all coming out now isn’t it son? Still, it’s good of you to fund all those social centres...
that smiley, nihilista, black_clad_messenger
Are you in Vignole and did I use to go out with you or what? Miaow! not like the murpheys at all! 
Don't feed the troll!